Back From Hiatus

Hello all, I am back from a long break from the blog, for a combination of reasons; there has been a lot going on. I am about 8weeks 2days pregnant now. Initially they had found 2 sacs, but have only been able to detect one heart beat. Needless to say we are very excited. My morning sickness has not been that bad. I crave very spicy food - meaning I would rather not taste anything, I sleep for hours at a time, and I can smell absolutely everything, even the neighbor's laundry. LOL.

That has been the good side of the pregnancy. Now the not so great side. About a week and a half ago, I woke up at night to use the bathroom and found I was bleeding and passed a large mass of tissue. Initially I was scared and did not know what to think, thankfully they found my trooper's heartbeat going strong. My doctor told me that it is not abnormal to have some tissue loss with multiple pregnancies. Needless to say the bleeding has been very very depressing, because you are not supposed to bleed when you are pregnant. Well I have been on a strict bed rest to ensure the ruptured part of the uterus does spread and cut of the placenta.

This has really tested my trust in God again, which I feel is something I feel is wobbly. Why can't everything run smoothly?, why can't I control this? But this I cannot control, all I can do is stay off my feet, but sometimes that does not stop the bleeding. So really I have no control. It is hard trusting God, but what else can I do. I can be angry, not speak to Him for weeks on end, but deep in my heart I know His words are true; All things (good and bad) work together for my good, like it or not. And I have to trust in His sovereignty and not my abilities. I can't say that I like that very much but He is God and I am not and if He chooses not to fix this it must be for a reason.

Thanks to everyone who has checked in on me I really appreciate your thoughts. A burden shared is a burdened lightened.