Bye bye love

Hello all, It is sad to report that I had a miscarriage on wednesday. I was 10 weeks 5 days. Please keep us in your prayers.

Pregnancy Update

I am now exactly 10 weeks pregnant. I am still bleeding but my doctor is not too concerned about it, as the baby (aka cookie) is growing very well. My next ultra sound is on Tuesday. It is always nice to see cookie. I heard the heartbeat at my last visit two weeks ago, and that was very heart warming.

More and more each day, I am learning to let go of the fear and control, because at this point the only thing I can do is slow my pace. The bleeding cannot really be controlled. So I am trusting God in this, after all He knows what is best for me.

And like Charles Spurgeon says; "No man can do me a truer kindness in this world than to pray for me."

Life in the Spirit

My devotional a couple of days ago lead me to the famous John 3 and this time the scripture that caught my attention was John 3: 5-6 and it reads; Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.

Being pregnant gave me a new revelation on this scripture; No one wakes up in the morning and says "today I want to be a Christian" out of our own free will, usually one comes under conviction of their sin and realize their need for Jesus and then give their lives to Jesus. From conviction to salvation it is the work of the spirit, it is a revelation. He leads us and if we respond to him a new Christian is born. It almost works that way with a little baby; it is through the act of husband and wife that a child is conceived. And just as an 8 week old baby cannot survive outside of the mother, so it is with a new born Christian.

We cannot get saved on our own hence we cannot stay saved without the tender nurturing care of the Holy Spirit. Just as a child needs his mama, so do we need the Holy Spirit. We need Him to feed us the word, we need Him to hug us with His presence everyday, and we need Him to remind us of the love of God, to guide us through this maze of life. And unlike a child who out grows total dependence on a mother, we can never outgrow our need for the daily guidance of the Holy Spirit.

It is a comfort to know that everyday of my life He will the right there with me, nurturing me, guiding me, protecting me and loving on me. No one else can be that for us, not even our mothers. Hence the scripture refers to the Holy Spirit and Living Water, we need Him to survive.

Do you have a Yesterday?

Do you have a yesterday that can heal someone's today? Have you gone through a rough patch and feel you have learned nothing from it? Well it has been my experience that the hard things I go through, my trials and tribulations later become a testimony and encouragement for someone else.

The bible teaches us that God always uses the bad things/experiences in our lives to teach and heal us. But what is even more beautiful and amazing is that in time the rough patch you come out of will later act as encouragement to someone else.

The question then arises, why do we have to go through rough patches, why do we have to experience losses. While there may be numerous theories the bible teaches that we live in a fallen world where we have our free will. If I choose to wake up tomorrow and not get out of bed and not do a thing, I can do it God does not control what I do. It is the same for all of us including murders, God does not control our actions hence the reactions are our responsibility. Sometime I wonder why God gave us free will, but I guess it is the beauty of a relationship with him, He wants us to choose Him and His ways, forced love can never be true love.There are somethings we bring upon ourselves, and there are other things we don't like a miscarriage or the like. We live in a world where evil prevails, somethings we will never understand this side of heaven, that is a given.

But rough patches don't last forever and eventually the tears I cry today will become the pool of my life experiences. I can choose to be bitter and not learn from my bad experiences, but on the other hand I can let God help me let go of the pain and hurt and reach out to someone else in pain and use my painful yesterday to bring encouragement and hope to someone's bad, rough today.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank "S'" for checking in on me and encouraging me. It truly has blessed me. I am now 9weeks 2days slow and steady, but we are surely moving forward.

Ina's Spot

One of my favorite shows to watch is the barefoot contessa which airs on the Food Network. The host of the show Ina Garten, is on my list of people I would absolutely love to meet. A self taught chef, her recipes are simple, easy to follow and most of the ingredients can be found in your pantry.

I am going to try and have an Ina corner every now and then. In Ina's corner today I am going to share with you one of my favorite Ina recipes Indonesian Ginger Chicken. I know it sounds scary but trust me it is very easy and you would love it. Steam veggies and mashed potatoes complete and perfect this dish. If you are bored with the same old same old baked chicken, this is a recipe that should please everyone.

Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 1 hour
Yield: 4 to 6 servings

1 cup honey
3/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup minced garlic (8 to 12 cloves)
1/2 cup peeled and grated fresh ginger root
2 (3 1/2 pound) chickens, quartered, with backs removed

Cook the honey, soy sauce, garlic, and ginger root in a small saucepan over low heat until the honey is melted. Arrange the chicken in 1 layer in a shallow baking pan, skin side down, and pour on the sauce. Cover the pan tightly with aluminum foil. Marinate overnight in the refrigerator.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Place the baking pan in the oven and bake for 30 minutes. Uncover the pan, turn the chicken skin side up, and raise the temperature to 375 degrees F. Continue baking for 30 minutes or until the juices run clear when you cut between a leg and thigh and the sauce is a rich, dark brown

Copyright, 1999, The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook, All rights reserved

And like Ina always says; "Now how easy was that?"

Enjoy

Our Anniversary

Past Fears

It was at 8 weeks I had my last miscarriage so if anyone out there is praying for me, please pray for me to overcome my fears of it happening again. I am at the 8 week mark and I am afraid of history repeating. I hope it won't, I pray it would not. I believe it would not. In my quite time last week I asked God how do I exercise faith in the mist of past bad experiences. It happened then? I would let you guys know what answer I get. God is faithful to always respond, be it in a sermon, or in a reading. Thanks folks

Back From Hiatus

Hello all, I am back from a long break from the blog, for a combination of reasons; there has been a lot going on. I am about 8weeks 2days pregnant now. Initially they had found 2 sacs, but have only been able to detect one heart beat. Needless to say we are very excited. My morning sickness has not been that bad. I crave very spicy food - meaning I would rather not taste anything, I sleep for hours at a time, and I can smell absolutely everything, even the neighbor's laundry. LOL.

That has been the good side of the pregnancy. Now the not so great side. About a week and a half ago, I woke up at night to use the bathroom and found I was bleeding and passed a large mass of tissue. Initially I was scared and did not know what to think, thankfully they found my trooper's heartbeat going strong. My doctor told me that it is not abnormal to have some tissue loss with multiple pregnancies. Needless to say the bleeding has been very very depressing, because you are not supposed to bleed when you are pregnant. Well I have been on a strict bed rest to ensure the ruptured part of the uterus does spread and cut of the placenta.

This has really tested my trust in God again, which I feel is something I feel is wobbly. Why can't everything run smoothly?, why can't I control this? But this I cannot control, all I can do is stay off my feet, but sometimes that does not stop the bleeding. So really I have no control. It is hard trusting God, but what else can I do. I can be angry, not speak to Him for weeks on end, but deep in my heart I know His words are true; All things (good and bad) work together for my good, like it or not. And I have to trust in His sovereignty and not my abilities. I can't say that I like that very much but He is God and I am not and if He chooses not to fix this it must be for a reason.

Thanks to everyone who has checked in on me I really appreciate your thoughts. A burden shared is a burdened lightened.