Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns

This song has been a blessing to me especially when my reality is far from my dreams. I put my trust in you Lord, give me your dreams for my life.

Oh what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me time and time again.
"Boy, you'll never win!""You'll never win!"

Chorus: But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to meI will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling meTime and time again. "Boy you'll never win!""You'll never win!"

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the groundAnd the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' downI will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

An Inward Change

I was doing some bible study and came across this scripture from Matthew that convicted and challanged me.

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel."Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean."Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. Matthew 23: 23-32

A couple of years ago I was really puzzled by the Pharisees in the bible, how did they miss Jesus. How did they miss the very thing they were looking for?
By the grace of God, I have come to realize that I am not much different than they are. As a Christian, it is so easy to act the part and not let Jesus truly change the heart. I reflect on my own life, and think about my secret sins; my prideful and selfish heart that seeks my way above anyone else’s, my unruly tongue. The list goes on and on. But it is interesting how easy it is to loose focus of those things and focus on the outward appearance of righteousness. Everyone in church can look beautiful and smile, but what happens when no other Christian is looking? We can have the outward appearance of Christ (like a crucifix around our necks like I do, or a bumper sticker, or our weekly church attendance) but then curse like a sailor, or be rude to a customer service representative like I did today, tell a small white lie basically act like we don't know Jesus once we are outside the four walls of church. I does not matter what I look like when I go to church, Jesus would not ask me that when I get to heaven, but I can be sure He would ask me about my heart and how I treated others. I want Jesus to change my heart. I want to have His heart. I want to be able to be like Him in everything I do. And more importantly recognize Him in the eyes of a crying mother, in the eyes of a hurting world; see Him because I am sure He is all around. I don't want to miss Jesus because I am so caught up in my world, my pain and my “problems”. I never again want to strain a gnat and then swallow a camel, clean up the outside of a cup and then leave the inside filthy and disgusting. More than anything, I pray Jesus cleans the inside of my heart, so I have His heart, and I am able to love as He loves. I want the real deal, and not just pretense. I am open Lord, please change my heart.

Trust in the Lord

Right after my miscarriage, I came to a crossroad in my walk with the Lord. I had believed and prayed that this baby would be healthy and come to full term. Needless to say I was devastated after the miscarriage and questioned my faith. However I choose to trust God despite my loss and lack of understanding.

It is easy for me to praise God when things are going smoothly. It is easy to believe every word of the bible when one is not faced with trials, but God's word does not become a lie when things go wrong. The bible says that rain falls on the just and the unjust alike. It would be completely naive of me to expect that no bad thing will happen to me. Bad and unpleasant things will happen to us all. It is a part of life, inevitable. So it seems to go without saying that God is still God when life seems unbearable. He is unchanging. I truly believe it is when one goes through a rough time the honesty of ones faith and beliefs are tested. I can't say that I understand it all, but I trust in God. God and the bible don’t make complete sense to me, but He sees my end from my beginning, and also that of my baby and he knows best. To a certain extent, I feel the integrity of my faith has been tested.

I was cleaning out an old diaper bag during the week and I came across a memory verse card that was given to my son when he was a baby. I read it again tonight and tears came to my eyes as the assurance of God flooded my heart; "Blessed are those who trust in the Lord.... They are like trees planted along a river bank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat, or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves are green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8.

I would love to say that I am not bothered by the heat or droughts in my life, they bother me quite a bit sometimes, but I will trust in the Lord at all times, even when it hurts. And I am thankful I do not have the fruits of bitterness or envy. That despite my bad days, I can genuinely smile, laugh, give babies big hugs and kisses, and most important of all trust and sing praises to My Lord.

This Christmas

As Christmas approaches, I find that I get caught up in the gift giving and meal planning. One has to make a conscious effort to keep in mind what happened on that day 2000 years ago. Jesus my savior was born; born to die for every selfish thought, mean word, and, prideful act to name a few I commit. It is more than a day off, it is a day that cut time in half, and changed the world forever. God came to us, it is mind boggling.

This year however, I would like to approach Christmas differently by focusing His life. As a Christian I often focus on his teaching and attempt to live as He lived. This year I would like to focus on how life was for Jesus. Wonder what He did on His 17th birthday, Did He like apples or grapes? And although I may not get answers this side of heaven, I believe meditating on these things would humanize Him more for me. And help me even appreciate His birth for two reasons. One that God as awesome as He is would come into this world as a man (with all our limitations) for me, and secondly that Jesus fully human would choose to lay down His life for me before while I was still a sinner. Just a thought

Life in the Spirit

My devotional a couple of days ago lead me to the famous John 3 and this time the scripture that caught my attention was John 3: 5-6 and it reads; Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.

Being pregnant gave me a new revelation on this scripture; No one wakes up in the morning and says "today I want to be a Christian" out of our own free will, usually one comes under conviction of their sin and realize their need for Jesus and then give their lives to Jesus. From conviction to salvation it is the work of the spirit, it is a revelation. He leads us and if we respond to him a new Christian is born. It almost works that way with a little baby; it is through the act of husband and wife that a child is conceived. And just as an 8 week old baby cannot survive outside of the mother, so it is with a new born Christian.

We cannot get saved on our own hence we cannot stay saved without the tender nurturing care of the Holy Spirit. Just as a child needs his mama, so do we need the Holy Spirit. We need Him to feed us the word, we need Him to hug us with His presence everyday, and we need Him to remind us of the love of God, to guide us through this maze of life. And unlike a child who out grows total dependence on a mother, we can never outgrow our need for the daily guidance of the Holy Spirit.

It is a comfort to know that everyday of my life He will the right there with me, nurturing me, guiding me, protecting me and loving on me. No one else can be that for us, not even our mothers. Hence the scripture refers to the Holy Spirit and Living Water, we need Him to survive.